About You

You’re on your way to adulting soon, or perhaps, you have just entered the big adult world,  and you always thought you’d enter this phase of life confidant and competent like everyone else seems to be.  On the outside, you try your best to look like you have it all together.  You’re under constant pressure to present yourself as attractive, accomplished or happier than the next person.  But the truth is, you’re pretty relieved when no one from school is around to see the shit-show of a meltdown that happens all too often back at home now.  Maybe nobody knows this, but you even cut yourself now and then to relieve all of the pain or pressure coming from within.  You hate that you do it.  But you don’t know how to stop.  No new Sephora product can take away that out-of-control feeling of sadness, loneliness, and lack of self-worth you feel inside.  Maybe some days you wonder if it’s all even worth it anymore.  But that’s not something you would never talk to your parents about.  None of this is.  You just don’t have that kind of relationship.  At least, you don’t think they would understand.  And even if they would, the last thing you need is to be someone else’s disappointment.  Again.  But it sure would be great to have someone to help you figure out why you can’t stop feeling like your heart is racing so often, you can’t stop crying yourself to sleep, can’t seem to feel happiness anymore, your leg won’t stop shaking, or maybe you’re even having full-on panic attacks sometimes.  You just. feel. sooo…worthless.  And you’re SO ready to feel differently.

You don’t feel like you’re very good at making friends, at least loyal ones.  You’re not sure how to set healthy boundaries of your own and so you pretty much just allow others to set your limits, and go with what they want. At least then you might make a friend – or that’s what you tell yourself anyway.  Although, come to think of it, those people have never turned out to be true friends.  You’re not sure why you’re not able to make a loyal friend – YET.

You push aside constant disrespect and tell yourself it’s just the “kind” thing to do, but the truth is, you don’t know how to stand up for yourself – YET. 

You find yourself minimizing or even keeping your own pain silent so that others feel less guilty when they hurt you. You tell yourself that being a good person means not calling someone else out on their fault, because after all, you should understand where they’re coming from.  But the truth is – you don’t believe your opinion matters – YET.